dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
