Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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