I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Randomize
