One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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