Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Randomize
