And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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