I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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