she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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