You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
