she was so not down for the gang bang
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
well you can't waste a boner
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
