My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize