he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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