sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
