So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
