and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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