I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
