his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize