Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
