People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I cockslap morals
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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