I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize