three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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