I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
