We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
