Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
