Kiss
Puke
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Reggie can tackle my bush.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
