I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
