i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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