so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
