Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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