If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
should my penis look like a turkey
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
