I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
