love makes seman taste better
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
