Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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