Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize