he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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