How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
