dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
