you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
