is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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