No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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