found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
