We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
