What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
