so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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