i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
