Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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