im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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