dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
ttyl tear gas
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
