A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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