Betty ford says i'm here all night
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize