Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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