I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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