So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
