im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
