I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize