my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
