i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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