at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
