Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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