Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
