Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
