Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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