if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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