So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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