then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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