I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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