I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize