and you said cock pushups were impossible
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
