that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
